Friend: So what did you do last night?

Me: OMG I slept with my boyfriend!

Friend: WHAT!? You have a boyfriend!? Who is it?

Me: My bed.

baby's first words

mom: say mama

mom: say ma-ma

mom: say it!



baby: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now


when i see really attractive people i just laugh because i know if we lived in the aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the gods for their beauty 

(via thathilariousasian)